What motivates you to succeed? Are you striving to realise the dream for yourself, or are you driven by the negativity of others?
Life can be a bitch, there’s no doubting that. But if you allow this to become a mantra which forms the basis of your reality tunnel, then you will never reach your full potential. We all have dreams, some bigger than others, but each relative to the individual and each achievable if you believe in yourself… It’s nice when others also believe in you, but dependency on the affirmation of others leads to neglect and to neglect your dreams is to disrespect your place in this cosmic journey we call life.
Dreams can indeed become reality, and so the image you have of your personal success does actually exist somewhere in a metaphysical construct, you just haven’t allowed it to manifest yet. Why? Probably because you aren’t thinking outside of the box, you are confining yourself to parameters governed by a finite mind, which isn’t allowing for the development of knowledge and thus creates a negative.
'….Prior to ontology is a deeper metaphysical account of negativity designed to explain both the emergence of a finite cognitive mind that finds itself over against a categorically structured world of finite things, and the specific limits finite cognition encounters in trying to render that world intelligible to itself.' ~ Brady Bowman
We’re not gonna harp on too much about negativity breeding negativity and engage in a detailed metaphysical analysis of this self perpetuating cycle, but we are here to tell you, if perseverance was a card trick, it would have your audience captivated to a point where even your biggest nemesis won’t be able to deny your inner magic ….believing in yourself may just be the ‘illusion' that changes ‘fact' from antonym to synonym and shatters the juxtaposition - fiction becomes fact!
Deflecting Incoming Negativity...
There is no effect (success) without cause (in this case, negative attitude from others), but we must be careful how we allow the cause to influence the effect. If your main aim of success is to prove others wrong, then this may well be at a detriment to optimising the effect and reaching your full potential; it is much more conducive to focus on proving yourself right. Take the focus off others and their negativity toward you and focus solely on the direction in which you want to go (for you and nobody else). The initial reasoning behind your motivation for success may well be as a result of other people’s negativity toward you, and yes, this sets the wheels in motion. But to continue dwelling on the opinions of others will almost certainly lead to second guessing and apprehension. Learn to deflect this negativity and life will give you a clear view of the objective in hand. This will require unrelenting perseverance and for a time, you will toil with the idea of outsider approval, making inert statements such as “I’ll show them” and “I’ll get my own back”.
Unfortunately, we do live in a society where competition for recognition is rife and at the very least, everyone wants to be "keeping up with the Jones’ ". In this society, the word revenge features quite highly on the agenda of those who feel hard done by, as well as for those who feel they need to show the world their worth - born out of this are quotes such as “Success is the best revenge” and “My silence is not weakness, but the beginning of my revenge” Here’s the thing - if you are seeking revenge of any kind, then you are holding onto negative thoughts, which will only serve to suppress the extent of any impending success, as it eats away at any moral fibre you once had. - People out for revenge often let go of morals in favour of actions fuelled by hatred, which later lead to regret and further perpetuate the negative loop.
You may find it hard at times to ignore the scepticism of others and there will be moments where you consider conceding to a negative will. These momentary relapses are nothing but a test of perseverance and it is important you recognise this - don’t adopt the attitude “Why me, what have I done to deserve this” but rather see it for what it really is and that is a test of your mental strength, your perseverance and your will to succeed. No one said it was going to be easy and life certainly doesn’t provide a direct path to success - it’s actually much more rewarding this way.
Whatever Doesn’t Kill Me, Only Makes Me Stronger?....
Sometimes the set backs we experience on our journey to success can appear catastrophic (relative to the individual) and result in severe demotivation. It is always important to focus on learning from these set backs, rather than dwelling on the whys and wherefores. Try not to blow things out of proportion, but instead contain an otherwise unnecessary explosion, which will only feed more stress and throw you further off aim. We do this by calmly rationalising and then deconstructing the issue, looking for triggers and learning from mistakes. Easier said than done and it goes without saying, many bad decisions are made in the heat of the moment - we’re not here to stifle spontaneity, but some decisions need careful thought and clinical execution in order that you may bear the fruits of your labour.
Friedrich Nietzsche once wrote: ‘Out of life's school of war: What does not destroy me makes me stronger.’ We’re not entirely sure what the German philosopher intended us to understand by his analysis of this statement in the 1888 book, Twilight of The Idols, but it was probably more a mockery of an aphorism held dearly by most in an attempt to deter people from complacency, rather than give them a false security that repeated (almost fatal) hardships, whether physical or emotional, will become a source of great strength. The reality being, most people crumble when faced with such adversity. It is therefore more realistic to consider the statement, and to quote singer Marilyn Manson, ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you is gonna leave a scar’. Mental and physical scars possibly serve as a stark reminder of where you fucked up and as a deterrent from any future potential fuck ups. These scars are also a reminder that you are only human; carry them with pride, they are testimony to your life experience and each one is a lesson which helped mould you into the person you are today.
The Final Push…
If you’ve made it this far through our somewhat abstract musings and observations of life and what it takes to succeed, then you’ve already shown great perseverance - those with lack of, more than likely gave up before the end of the first paragraph. It is now down to you and you alone to take this perseverance and apply it to everything you do in life; never forsake the dream to fuel another's negativity and never allow this negativity to fuel the dream. Put yourself out there, hold your head up high, concentrate on your goals and harbour no regrets. Don’t be enamoured by the bullshit of others, don’t be afraid to deviate from the path society considers the norm, reach further than the restricted spectrum of the general consensus and most importantly, do your very best to be a good human being - whether you believe it or not, karma always seeks to restore a balance, and you don’t want to be on the wrong side of it when it does!